Sunday, October 28, 2012
Buzz Off Pinkalicious!
The kids and I saw this musical on Friday night. This is not the exact one we saw (different city) - but the song Buzz off has been stuck in my head ever since. As my son says, "it's stuck in my head and I have no where to put it so I'm going to try and give it to you!"
It was the funniest song I have seen adults sing ever. I laughed until my guts hurt!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Are You Good Enough?
What if you were? Good enough, that is. Just you. Every day, all the time. Good enough. Not only good enough at writing, good enough at fixing your car, good enough at teaching, good enough at splitting atoms. But just good enough. As being you.
And what I would like to know is why are there so many people who tell us that we in fact are not good enough? Just being ourselves. People who tell us that what we want to do and what we want to be is not good enough? Why do those people get to be the boss of us? What gives them the right to dictate these beliefs for us?
Because believe you me, we listen to them. To those people who want to see us fail. To those people who are afraid of seeing us soar.
What if.... instead of hearing them say 'you are fat', 'you are stupid', 'you are not good enough' and believing them - letting those words of hurt seep into our souls where it becomes a part of us.... what if instead we said back to them (in the words of my children) "I'm rubber and you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you." And carried on as if those words had never been spoken.
Would we then believe we are good enough? I don't believe we are born believing we are not good enough. All the proof I need for that is watching my children.
I few years ago I went to a workshop where we were working on "opening our hearts". I really got a lot out of it - I actually wish I could do it again, I'm in a better place now to open my heart than I've been in a long time - but there was one part of this workshop that left me a little upset. There were people having meltdowns all over the place. I went there thinking I had emotional issues (don't we all!) that I wanted to work out -but some of these people were having the kinds of meltdowns I've only ever had in my head.
At one point we were taking turns lying in the center of our small groups and then saying out loud something that we wanted to have, make or be better in our lives. When it got to my turn I said that I wanted to be "good enough". The leader pressured me to come up with a something to be good enough at. I was trying to explain to him (while lying on the ground surrounded by people touching me - not exactly my comfort zone) that that was all I wanted. Just to be accepted as "good enough". That who/what I was and am is "good enough". He kept at me, and I kept on giving the same response. Finally he gave a sigh, they did their little thing and we moved onto the next person.
I felt kind of cheated. Like he had implied that even my desire to be "good enough" wasn't good enough. Although I wished I had made a bigger stink about it to really make my point, it kind of drove home to me the idiocy of my trying to convince someone else to assure me that my good enough was indeed good enough. Who was he to judge that after all?
I am slowly coming to the realization that who I am is good enough. Just as is. Not that I can't use some tweaking, but at the core of who I am - that I am ok. I am a firm believer in personal accountability, but one day on facebook some joke page put up the quote "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes."
Sometimes I think I have spent too much of my life surrounded by assholes. Thank goodness I"m in not afraid of a good cleanse :-)
And what I would like to know is why are there so many people who tell us that we in fact are not good enough? Just being ourselves. People who tell us that what we want to do and what we want to be is not good enough? Why do those people get to be the boss of us? What gives them the right to dictate these beliefs for us?
Because believe you me, we listen to them. To those people who want to see us fail. To those people who are afraid of seeing us soar.
What if.... instead of hearing them say 'you are fat', 'you are stupid', 'you are not good enough' and believing them - letting those words of hurt seep into our souls where it becomes a part of us.... what if instead we said back to them (in the words of my children) "I'm rubber and you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you." And carried on as if those words had never been spoken.
Would we then believe we are good enough? I don't believe we are born believing we are not good enough. All the proof I need for that is watching my children.
I few years ago I went to a workshop where we were working on "opening our hearts". I really got a lot out of it - I actually wish I could do it again, I'm in a better place now to open my heart than I've been in a long time - but there was one part of this workshop that left me a little upset. There were people having meltdowns all over the place. I went there thinking I had emotional issues (don't we all!) that I wanted to work out -but some of these people were having the kinds of meltdowns I've only ever had in my head.
At one point we were taking turns lying in the center of our small groups and then saying out loud something that we wanted to have, make or be better in our lives. When it got to my turn I said that I wanted to be "good enough". The leader pressured me to come up with a something to be good enough at. I was trying to explain to him (while lying on the ground surrounded by people touching me - not exactly my comfort zone) that that was all I wanted. Just to be accepted as "good enough". That who/what I was and am is "good enough". He kept at me, and I kept on giving the same response. Finally he gave a sigh, they did their little thing and we moved onto the next person.
I felt kind of cheated. Like he had implied that even my desire to be "good enough" wasn't good enough. Although I wished I had made a bigger stink about it to really make my point, it kind of drove home to me the idiocy of my trying to convince someone else to assure me that my good enough was indeed good enough. Who was he to judge that after all?
I am slowly coming to the realization that who I am is good enough. Just as is. Not that I can't use some tweaking, but at the core of who I am - that I am ok. I am a firm believer in personal accountability, but one day on facebook some joke page put up the quote "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes."
Sometimes I think I have spent too much of my life surrounded by assholes. Thank goodness I"m in not afraid of a good cleanse :-)
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
I need it, I love it, I MUST do it.....
How do you follow your dharma?
I am awesome at procrastination. Actually, if they ever gave out awards I may be the frontrunner, but I would be so busy putting off getting a dress for the awards ceremony I would never in fact get to celebrate in that great night. Later on, someone would call me and tell me they have my procrastination award at their house, but I would never get around to picking it up. So, I would never really be awarded as the greatest procrastinator to ever exist.
Ever.
I'm actually not lazy. It may appear that way if you don't know me, I mean really know me. But I'm not. My biggest problem is a fear of completing something poorly. I hate half-assed finished projects. Apparently I'm totally fine with full-assed uncompleted projects, but that's a story for another day (because I don't have the time to tell it properly... thereby making it a half assed story - you see my problem?)
Anyhoo... the point of this long winded confession is a wonderful first hand experience I had this morning of someone living their dharma.
I am reading a book titled The Great Work of Your Life and it's fantastic. It is about how to follow your dharma.
What is dharma you ask? It's not just that fun character from the tv show Dharma and Greg.
It's that little thing that makes you uniquely you. The thing that brings out your passion and makes you share that passion with the world. The thing that you can only access if you are truly and completely authentically yourself.
Sounds easy enough right?
Would be much easier if we didn't spend a lifetime with other people telling us what they think our dharma should be. Or that our dharma isn't good enough. How can the thing that makes you uniquely you, the thing you were put on the planet to share and let shine not be good enough? How could that be wrong?
This morning we were doing our daily morning rush. Get up, get dressed, get breakfasts and lunches ready. Feed children. Make sure lunches and homework gets in backpacks. Sign forms that magically appear from nowhere. Yell at dog who is going crazy hoping it's bus time and she can go for a walk. In the middle of this chaos, Jenna sits down at the table where her watercolour paint still sits from the night before. She looks at her paints and her paper and smiles and says "I need to paint, I love to paint, I MUST PAINT." And sits down, grabs her brush and starts painting furiously. It does not matter that I was shoving her breakfast in her face about to bark at her that she needed to be getting ready for school. She needed to paint. And she did. And it brought great joy to my morning. We had time plus some to get all our things done. Yet we also had time to stop and let Jenna paint. Because it was something she must do. Something that makes Jenna Jenna. Uniquely her.
I am awesome at procrastination. Actually, if they ever gave out awards I may be the frontrunner, but I would be so busy putting off getting a dress for the awards ceremony I would never in fact get to celebrate in that great night. Later on, someone would call me and tell me they have my procrastination award at their house, but I would never get around to picking it up. So, I would never really be awarded as the greatest procrastinator to ever exist.
Ever.
I'm actually not lazy. It may appear that way if you don't know me, I mean really know me. But I'm not. My biggest problem is a fear of completing something poorly. I hate half-assed finished projects. Apparently I'm totally fine with full-assed uncompleted projects, but that's a story for another day (because I don't have the time to tell it properly... thereby making it a half assed story - you see my problem?)
Anyhoo... the point of this long winded confession is a wonderful first hand experience I had this morning of someone living their dharma.
I am reading a book titled The Great Work of Your Life and it's fantastic. It is about how to follow your dharma.
What is dharma you ask? It's not just that fun character from the tv show Dharma and Greg.
It's that little thing that makes you uniquely you. The thing that brings out your passion and makes you share that passion with the world. The thing that you can only access if you are truly and completely authentically yourself.
Sounds easy enough right?
Would be much easier if we didn't spend a lifetime with other people telling us what they think our dharma should be. Or that our dharma isn't good enough. How can the thing that makes you uniquely you, the thing you were put on the planet to share and let shine not be good enough? How could that be wrong?
This morning we were doing our daily morning rush. Get up, get dressed, get breakfasts and lunches ready. Feed children. Make sure lunches and homework gets in backpacks. Sign forms that magically appear from nowhere. Yell at dog who is going crazy hoping it's bus time and she can go for a walk. In the middle of this chaos, Jenna sits down at the table where her watercolour paint still sits from the night before. She looks at her paints and her paper and smiles and says "I need to paint, I love to paint, I MUST PAINT." And sits down, grabs her brush and starts painting furiously. It does not matter that I was shoving her breakfast in her face about to bark at her that she needed to be getting ready for school. She needed to paint. And she did. And it brought great joy to my morning. We had time plus some to get all our things done. Yet we also had time to stop and let Jenna paint. Because it was something she must do. Something that makes Jenna Jenna. Uniquely her.
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